Holiday Hustle and Honest Thoughts

((Darcy))

It's been awhile since this blog has been posted on, having seen the hiatus of the holiday hustle.

Personally, my holidays were amazing, the best I have had since my brother's passing. My fiance and I shared our first holidays as an engaged couple (and our last as we are married in May). Initially planning was intimidating and hectic. My parents wanted to visit New Mexico, Daniel's family was wanting to try Christmas at the new house his sister moved into, and my grandmother had bought every one of her 8 children, 19 grandchildren, and all the inlaws, plus my future husband, tickets to Florida for a four day Christmas trip starting the 26th. All this while we are trying to manage a budget during student teaching (which is a 8 hour work day with no compensation save a grade) and planning a wedding. Lets just say Christmas gifts this year received more attention to creativity then years passed as I searched for ways to share meaning without draining my bank account which has seemed to spring a recent leak...

My parents decided to wait on visiting my mother's family in New Mexico, which while unfortunate, allowed Daniel and I to spend time with his family in Kansas. His sister Katherine, who has three young children and one on the way who is also in the process of moving and organizing the photography for our wedding, volunteered to plan, organize, and host a two day Christmas celebration. Oh, and her and her husband were singing, directing, and writing their new churches first Christmas pageant. The woman swings her pendulum somewhere in between saint and clinically insane around this time of year! But with a little family help in the kitchen, she pulled it off wonderfully.

On Christmas day I got a microwave to replace the junker that has been shorting out for the past month, had a whole half yard of bubble gum in my mouth to blow a bubble with only to be outdone by Daniel's younger sister who managed the whole yard, played David and Goliath army men with a seven year old who knew the names of the story better than I did, and had my parents pick me up for Kansas City for phase two of Christmas.

There is something wonderful in those memories though. Daniel and I have been together four years this February, but only got engaged this last April on my 21st birthday (no alcohol involved). Spending time with his family and knowing they are my family to be is humbling, inspiring, and tiring! I had to cut the apples and the onions... cutting onions isn't a job you give to guests, its for family! I also changed diapers and had my flower girl sleeping on my chest.

I noticed something in the down time, sitting on the couch alone. His family never knew my brother, and the holidays did not carry the loss of one who was not there. While the realization was both painful and liberating, I embraced the moment as a transition of change, a positive growth that affirms I am not tied down by my past loss.

Seeing my parents at the door awhile after lunch brought back that feeling though. I try not to be separate from my parents on Christmas day, as losing a son is harder when the only other child is also not present. I worry about them, and they worry about me. We protect each other in the times where happiness flows but sadness lurks, defending against the creeping melancholy by being there for one another.

My father gets along rather well with one of Katherine's children who is a seven year old boy. I went with the two outside to play in the snow. My father is wonderful with children, and I am thankful he is able to share his passions for play with Gavin. My mother was talking to Daniel's mom; the two get along rather well. My parents were in good spirits, fortified by the company of family. We all spent another hour or two at Katherine's before my uncle showed up and we left for Kansas City to stay the night before catching the plane in the morning.

Staying in Kansas City was relaxing, familiar, and calmed my honest fear of the holidays. I love family, and I love Christmas, but in truth there has not been a Christmas since my brother passed that I haven't cried at least once in the week of the holidays. This time was different though, something has shifted, life is beginning a new phase. While the blessings and pains of my handicap brother's short life will never fade from my memory or heart, the shadows and fears are passing as I gain security in faith, hope, and love given to me by my wonderful family, both by blood and soon to be marriage.




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Florida is a story for another blogging, but watch for it coming soon.

Darcy - Luke 1:37-38 verse of the day

Luke 1:37-38 :: Contemporary English Version (CEV)

37"Nothing is impossible for God!"
38Mary said, "I am the Lord's servant! Let it happen as you have said." And the angel left her.

I get a daily devotional verse in my email each day from the church, and while I am possibly not as diligent as I could be in this pursuit, I am occasionally caught by the meditative reflections I can have after reading the verse.

This one catches me at a moment of transition in my life. Coming up on a wedding and graduation can be a bit stressful, and life always manages to throw in extra unexpected events to sometimes add to things. But the affirmation in this verse is simple - "Nothing is impossible for God." I know that our family will be carried through the difficult times, that God will not bring us to something He refuses to bring us through. God is capable and willing to give us grace in every moment of our lives, all we have to do is give in.
"I am the Lord's servant! Let it happen as you have said." These words are hard when we are accustomed to 'building' our own life, making 'life decisions' and 'preparing' for the future. However, who am I to know God's plans for me? What good are my plans? They are useful to make, but most likely they will change, I will change, and it will be because God's will is not something I can always guess at. Change is good, it means I become more of God's servant, that if I let Him move me in His way I will become more fufilled in my path.
Society will seek to move me, and it will always be tempting for me to move for myself, but at the root I am God's servant, and the only true movement is movement for him.

So where will my life go and what will I do? I will seek to allign myself as much as possible to God's calling and trust His benevolence and grace in my life.

It sounds good... and hopefully with practice it will do more then "sound good."
Here is to a journey.

Darcy

Darcy - reaction to our first session

Last night we met for the first time in our technology and faith session of our small group. Already someone had talked to one of our members about the blog before it had even been unveiled to all of our group! That was exciting and imediatly set us in the mood that technology could facilitate our faith by both helping us understand our own spirituality and God's grace along with inviting others to share in this exploration, even if only through reading the blog. I should mention that anyone in the area is welcome to come to our meetings. I put an age guideline up, but it really was a guess and I am going to add "the young at heart" or "pre family stage" to the listings. Besides, our pastors Kim and Greg are the proud parents of a junior in highschool and an 8th grader and they participate. Anyone is welcome :)

We also covered possible uses of technology to enhance our faith such as research on spiritual topics, which is suprisingly well facilitated by wikipedia, and GodTube, and google. There are plenty of sights that could start your intellectual and spiritual wheels turning. Also we discussed (quite a bit sense it is the biggest niche for our generation right now) facebook and how it can be used to read your daily Bible verses, converse about spiritual topics, and express a side of yourself that might not be seen in casual conversations.

However, it seems the bulk of our discussion centered on the difficulties that technology has brought to our generation including: desensitization, and the reversal oversenitization, distorted views of beauty and virtue, lose of moral sense due to anyonimity, time "killing", and having too much noise/busyness to "be still and know that I am God."

We considered how technology like the atom bomb have devestated humanity and still somehow allowed growth. But this was a tricky topic, because it is sometimes hard to see progress through extreme devestation, and even when progress is seen it is sometimes hard to see progress as God's plan so much as mans. An interesting idea we tackled: Is progress God's thing or is it the creation of man? Does God love us more when we create new things, advance our health systems, or are able to access more information? It is a hard set of questions that leads one to consider what are humanities goals for us and what are God's goals for us.

We thought about whether God forged a path of technological progress and if man were playing out God's plan, but I think most of us thought more that God's gift of free will has allowed this growth and whatever else it may be. However, one of the main ideas was that God would love humanity at whatever progress we were in our epochs or stages, and that humanity has covered some dark areas of history and that we generally do seem pretty well off in our day of age.

Our concluding thought was on the best possible way to use technology responsibly considering our spiritual self. We concluded that the internet would be responsbily used building real realitionships based in truth. And while 'real realationships' can be tricky, the idea that we are genuine in who we are and that we seek to connect on deeper levels then casual internet occurences made sense to me. We also decided that we should occasionaly take 'technology retreats,' having segments of our day, week, or life that we take a break from technology and try to still our minds and stimulus in order to be still and let God enter into our minds and hearts.

Darcy - An off-topic poem "Impact - Harmony"

I wrote this poem during my Creative Writing Club meeting last night at Bethany and feel inclined to post it... so here goes :)


Impact – Harmony

In the world we have two natures –
the voice that says “mine”
and the voice that does not speak because presence is unified
so that there is no one
to speak with.

‘mine’ carries a hammer
building bridges, wonders, and junk –
striking against the nail,
moving the object to its will.

The voice that does not speak,
in a paradox of voice…
Sings.
humming and buzzing in Tune
Producing a Harmony not often Heard
Within Identity;
Stroking piano keys inside a symphony.

The hammer seeks to mould;
the piano seeks to meld.

The impact of nails leaves scars in the wood.
The piano produces, is heard or ignored, and fades –
Enhancing the player through Practice.

Perhaps our builder screws into the wood
and realizes he has made a mistake…
he releases his binding
and has left:

a Screwed Board
-- too flawed for the next attempt.

Our musician plays his keys
and perhaps misses a note, but
his impact lacks destructive force.
He is now more practiced,
better equipped to once again try for Harmony
more able to contribute his Art.

so in Life I Choose –
I am not a builder hammering
out my vision
I am not a screwed board.

Rather I am
I am learning to play my notes,
Practicing my harmony production,
Gaining experience from the missed notes
Adding to the collective
Creative
And Malleable
Symphony of Life.

by
Darcy

Darcy - Technology and Faith - An Outline

Here are a few of the directions I want to venture towards in our small group:

1. The possible uses of technology to enhance our faith
a. blog spot (this experiment)
b. research on spiritual topics
c. spreading ideas or broadcasting (using Bible verses on facebook)

2. The challenges technology has brought to our generation
a. Desensitization due to amount of information and the pace that it comes at us
b. Anonymity shield that removes us from accountability from others and ourselves
c. Distractions from "be still and know that I am God"
d. Temptation for pleasures available electronically (excessive gaming or lust)

3. God's possible purposes for allowing such tools
a. Where is the human condition going with technology?
b. Does God call us to us technology to serve him?
c. What is the most spiritual reponsible use for technology and how do we implement such practices?

The schedule is flexible and the outline is a draft.... but these are some of the topics I want to broach in our discussions.

Let me know what you think!

Darcy's First Post

I am Darcy, a 21 yr old female currently student teaching and graduating with an English Education and Philosophy dual major this coming May the day after I get married. My fionce and I are thrilled to have the young adult small group started and healthy as we plan to settle in Salina and seek a peer group of spiritual support.

I have been with First Christian Church since moving to Salina in 1999, my 8th grade year. I am a product of the youth group here, LOGOS, and currently volunteer with the youth since I no longer get to attend. :) Moving off campus this semster and not having 10:00 chapel to go to at my college, I began looking for a group to fill that role in Salina. Kim and Greg, our pastors, helped get this young adult group up and running.

Our first topic came from the book "Momentum for Life" by Micheal Slaughter and included a 7 week schedule with an Apples to Apples game party and get together at the end. I suggested our next topic would be technology and faith, and the design for the unit fell in my hands. So as fair warning, this is my first attempt at leading a small group, but I do have good guidance from Kim and Greg.